Every mom has a vital role to play in the next step of your child's life - whether your kiddos are little are fully launched. No matter what stage of motherhood you are in, from new mom to grandma, this week's podcast will touch every heart and give you fresh perspective in your next step on this worthy journey of motherhood. CLICK HERE to listen to Episode 49
Mom, don't wait to prepare your kids for adulthood! If you want them to have SOLID HABITS as adults, you want to help them develop those NOW.
In the first part of today's podcast, my youngest son, Andrew, and I discuss four key areas in a strong foundation, from Andrew's perspective - work ethic, finances, social life, and spiritual life. This first section would be great for your middle school or high school son to listen with you. Then I continue the podcast looking at building LEGACY & building FAMILY IDENTITY. This all wraps up with a heartfelt prayer from a mama who is going through the mourning process of launching her child into adulthood.
❓What's my family's identity - characteristics that represent our family?
❓What LEGACY am I building - the values I want to pass on?
❓What qualities do my kids need most to prepare them to launch into adulthood? ❓How can they develop confidence & humility at the same time?
❓When my child no longer lives with me, what is my role in their life and is it as important of a role as I had before?
❓How do I pray for my child? ❓How do I pray for my mourning mama heart?
Well, moms, even though Andrew is my fifth child to pack up and move on, it still breaks my mama heart. It’s tough to realize and try to accept that our time of being the main person to pour truth and wisdom and good habits into our kids eventually comes to an end. Many great times follow this stage, and I even know from personal experience that the next stage – a strong friendship with an adult child – is actually my favorite of all the stages! But, this letting go thing, it is, well, it is heart-wrenching for most mamas. Me included. You actually go through a literal time of mourning - mourning the loss of this child/parent relationship and moving to a grown child to parent relationship.
It's so difficult to go from being the primary one to care for and be concerned for that other soul, to being someone sitting in the bleachers and watching their life from a distance.
A Mother's Mourning Process
I have been learning something about the mourning process of each stage of life and that lesson is this: God has purpose in the mourning. I believe He has work for it to do within us. I also believe, specifically about the process of a child leaving and the mama mourning that follows, that that special type of mourning produces prayer in the Christian mama for that child and all the future days of that child. The Bible says that the prayers of the saints are bottled up as a sweet aroma to the Lord. With each grown & flown child, our prayers increase for them as we have moved to the top bleacher of the game of their life - we see the bigger picture that they can't see themselves and its the perfect spot for effectively praying for them.
A Mother's Milestone Prayer…
“Dear Lord,
I thank you for our son that you entrusted to his father and me these past 18 years.
You alone know the days that lie ahead for this young man.
May you go before him, making the rough places smooth and the crooked places straight.
May you go along behind him to comfort and repair when the path has been difficult.
As he traverses the mountains and valleys ahead, may they be effective in his growth, producing wisdom and strength.
Lord, please keep his feet in the center of your will and his heart turned always toward you.
May his passion for you be stronger than the temptations of the world and your guidance be louder than the distractions.
Surround him with people who encourage him to rise above pitfalls, who lift him to new heights, who challenge him toward greater victories than ever before, and who love him sincerely and even sacrificially.
Give him the courage to bring you glory instead seeking his own accolades and continue to show him that you and I love him unconditionally.
Help me to allow him to stumble and explore but to also know when to speak up in wisdom or even admonishment, but only when YOU want me to.
May I be a good listener, his greatest fan, and his biggest prayer warrior.
And then, dear Lord, please teach my heart how to walk on my road without him near, how to live at a further distance that gives him freedom and growth, allowing us to become life-long friends that bring mutual edification in a deep indescribable bond of love.
And help me always to live in joy and anticipation of the days to come, exemplifying to my children that your ways are worthy and wonderful.”
Resources:
Chip Ingram - Living on the Edge
Alistair Begg - Truth For Life Val's Book: Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out: Finding Focus to be the Masterpiece God Intended Podcast Episode 3: Ways to Love Your Child from Toddler to Teen, and Learning to Let Them Grow Up
