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One of the great privileges of motherhood is that we can praise and affirm our children in ways that spur them toward growth and good behavior." - Val Harrison in episode 75
In Episode 75, What's In My Mom Box? Common Tools that Make Motherhood More Effective, Part 2, we are looking at at POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT TOOLS and also looking at my BRAIN BOOKS. I share how you can make your own brain books to reduce overwhelm and help you keep track of everything you want to keep track of for the past, present, and future! Seriously, my brain books have been such a game-changer for my momlife!
QUOTES from Ep 75
"You want to always be in the process of discovering more about your child - what really motivates them to growth and self improvement and character development. We're talking about POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT TOOLS! "
"Kids need positive reinforcement. They need to know you are PLEASED & PROUD of them,
PRAISE what you want REPEATED - give positive attention to encourage positive growth."
Here's some examples of Positive Words to Your Child that Motivates Future Behavior
"You have been a blessing to me today when you cleaned up before I even asked you to help!"
"I was so proud of you this morning when I saw you stop to help your younger sibling."
GROUP ATTENTION or PERSONAL ATTENTION - which lights up your child and motivates growth in them?
When determining what kind of praise will be most effective with your child, GROUP ATTENTION PRAISE or PERSONAL ATTENTION of PRAISE, it all depends on the child - do they like GROUP ATTENTION or do they like PERSONAL ATTENTION? Figure out what is effective affirmation for your child.
Here's some examples of giving your child PRAISE in front of a GROUP:
✅Clapping for your child or getting the whole family to clap (I know that may sound silly to you, but some children really respond well to this type of affirmation),
✅Cheering,
✅Giving them a Badge to Wear,
✅Calling their Grandparent and telling them about your child's positive actions
Some examples of giving PERSONAL PRAISE
✅Pat on the Back
✅High Five
✅Looking them in the eye and giving specific acknowledgment for specific actions
✅A note to tell them how proud you are of your child
Incentive Programs are another form of Positive Reinforcement. Some examples of different Incentive Programs for growth. This is a way to CELEBRATE GROWTH WITH YOUR CHILD.
This Blessing Chart was an Incentive Plan I made when Emma was going through a self-centered stage. She needed something to get her in the HABIT of thinking of others. This chart produced great results! I'm so thankful to say that she did make huge improvement in her ability to be aware of the needs and feelings of other. This chart really worked! But if it wouldn't have, I would have tride the next thing... Some things will work and some won't but you just keep trying new options that bring kids to the standard. The standard doesn't change but the method can vary, based on what is effective with your child.
Here's another chart we made when there was a lot of grouchiness going on! Five spots for five days of the week to write something we felt thankful about our life. Again, my goal was changing HABITS. In this case, the habit of what we THINK about or our PERSPECTIVE.
The 2nd half of this episode reveals how to make a MOM BRAIN BOOK. This was a game changer for my life! I began with one consolidated brain book, but eventually this became SIX brain books - one for each of the SIX ROOMS OF THE INTENTIONAL MOM's HOME:
Here's a pic of the type of notebooks that I buy for my brain books. They stay better bound than a regular notebook. I get them at Mardel or Hobby Lobby (a pack of 3 or 4 is around $5). In the picture, these were the titles I used to have on them, but have since updated them to the SIX ROOMS of the Intentional Mom's Home as listed below.
MY SIX BRAIN BOOKS- Reducing overwhelm as I put everything on sticky notes that can be moved around as new categories develop within these six categories (my website is also divided into these six sections as well). Listen to this episode to hear some specific examples of what are in these brain books and how it helps!
🏠KITCHEN - Healthy Mom, Healthy Family, Recipes, Meal Planning, Stress Relief, Care & Share menu items and recipes (Care & Share Meals are something I give to a sick friend, new mommy, new home, etc), Lists of what I served at Christmas, Thanksgiving, special occasions, having coming, child's birthday party, etc. Keeping a record of what I served in the past, helps save me time in future hosting opportunities.
🏠LAUNDRY ROOM - Household Organization systems or ideas or tips, Chores, Cleaning Tips, Gardening, Sewing or other Craft details, List of Work Done on our home - such as the company we used for replacing windows, pouring the driveway, installing the flooring, paint colors in rooms... anything related to the care, maintenance, improvements, or running of our home.
🏠FAMILY ROOM - Parenting & Relationships - It could be books I want to read, details I want to remember such as the personality type test results of each family member, their love language, could be a list of friends of each of our kids and how to contact their parents.
🏠SCHOOL ROOM - Educational Helps, Tips, Websites, Extra Curricular Info, Curriculum Info, Schedules, Checklists we've used, Systems, Ideas.
🏠FRONT PORCH - Spiritual growth, walking with God, journaling, thoughts, prayers, notes
🏠MASTER SUITE - Marriage helps, dreaming & goal-setting together, planning, movies to watch, dates to go on, places to travel together
This is from my KITCHEN brain book. It's lists of what I typically purchase at each store. If I'm going to that store, I check my inventory for these items before I head to the store.
So, I'm wondering - WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO A PODCAST EPISODE from each of these books? So an entire episode about what's in my Kitchen Brain Book and entire episode on What's in my Laundry Room Brain Book, etc? What are your thoughts? Let me know!
What's Coming Next
3/8/2021 Episode 76, Listener Q&A with Dr. Amy Barfield: Stress, Sleep, Screen Time
3/15/2021 Episode 77, Listener Q&A with Dr. Amy Barfield: ADHD, Helping Our Child Thrive on a Different Path
For Val to speak at a parenting or womens'' event or for Rich & Val to speak at a marriage event: email Music by nathanharrison.music@gmail.com